Thursday, 17 December 2009
Anyway sleep now, it's a 9-6 jobbie in GoldDigger land tomorrow...
oooh and.... the blog is www.veryownlife.blogspot.com hehehe forgot that one!!
Sunday, 25 October 2009
I’d meant to blog about this months ago, but ended up distracted and inevitably forgot and moved on… God’s just reminded me in the lovely way that he does sometimes whilst I’m on the train from Sheffield to Liverpool and so I thought I’d blog away whilst I have the chance.
I was reflecting on when I was a teenager and first really got into events and the Christian sub-culture that I find so aggravating and fascinating and about the major mission statement that my Christian friends and i lived out in those years. Often, I have the privilege of teaching, preaching, discerning the direction and messages that God wants to speak at events, and along with the fun and privilege of that, I’m also greatly aware of that responsibility. For all the negative consumer connections, I still think there is so so much worth in conferences like new wine, spring harvest, soul survivor and the like, to excite, enthuse, teach and really demonstrate to those around us what it is to really follow Jesus, and it’s very exciting to be involved in leading the next generation.
So it gets me thinking about the message, the mission statement we bring. For me this year, I thought new wine really hit the mark by looking at Luke 4 and the core manifesto that Jesus had. We took the focus away from the big ol’ club of Christians, we’re safe here, mentality… away from teachings on how to receive what YOU need from God, and really focused on the poor, the needy, the imprisoned, the hungry, the real good news of the gospel… and I hope and pray that the 1000 or so young people who heard that message for a week will have had their lives utterly transformed, and their perception of being a Christian turned on its head.
But back to my old youth group… and most I ever met.
If I think about it, one of the overwhelming messages that we lived by.
“Lets show people that Christians are normal”.
We spent so much time, energy, events, missions, and conversations trying to show our friends that us Christians, we’re normal really. Yeah we love God and believe in that guy Jesus, but we’re normal honestly, we shop in the same places you do, we listen to the same kind of music (its just ours is written by this guy called Tim Hughes) we still go out, we still have fun… we’re just like you really….
And we wonder why people weren’t interested.
We spent so long showing how the jesus life doesn’t cost that much, at being normal to not put people off, that we squashed the jesus life into our normal lives, when really we needed to mould our normal lives into the radical jesus life that we’re called to lead.
It upsets me so much every time I hear someone describe being a Christian as “well that’s fine for you, its just not for me” like it’s the difference between shopping in Primark or not. The idea that it’s a lifestyle option to be fitted in where applicable, that “its up to you really” and that this has seeped down into our ideology.
We spent so long trying to prove that we’re really normal, that we lost almost everything that made us different.
We tried to sell Jesus in acceptable, unobtrusive packaging, when the whole point is that he’s anything but that.
We decide that people may just fall into the Jesus life because its not obtrusive, rather than living our lives in a way that utterly provokes and confuses. If we honestly and truly lived the Jesus life, we should be so utterly different to our society. Our values and attitudes and activities should be so different that it calls people to see that there is more to life.
Following Jesus should massively change the food we buy, the places we go, the films we see… by making ourselves just like everyone else, we lost so much of the essence that made the Jesus life special, that made it a worthwhile decision.
When did controversial become a bad thing?
I was provoked and reminded about all this today when reading Shane Claiborne’s difference between normal and ordinary.
We are ordinary; we’re not exceptional except that we have the Living God working within us daily. But we are never normal… we are never the secular option, never accepting “that’s the way it is”, but constantly embracing the abnormality that living for Jesus brings.
God, help me to never ever be normal. And NEVER make you normal.
Friday, 25 September 2009
Monday, 7 September 2009
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Today is a nice day, and a slightly sad one. The blue background means i'm currently sat on Jim's bed, whilse he's gone to record some vocals after bringing me a lovely cup of tea this morning. I'm facing a 6 hour or so journey up to Sheffield later which makes me sad (both at the prospect of leaving the for-now normality of Jim being around and the fatigue inducing train journeys) but does mean that tomorrow will be a very exciting day. More about that, well... tomorrow.
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
I can't believe it's this long since i blogged, but i just haven't felt like it for a while, and while becomes more than a while and well....
In some ways i feel like i've spent the last 4 months standing still, but on reflection, my life has changed so much since october, i'm not even sure where to begin! Since i last wrote, i've met a guy whose not only turned my world upside down and who i can't imagine ever being without, but who has also taught me to value myself and shown me what it's like to be loved and wanted, despite my massive faults and failings. Who stands and prays for me in a way i could have never imagined and who constantly encourages me to challenge everything i think. I've moved to a church whose vision blows me away, whose faith and commitment is only rivaled by their crazy belief in me as a youth worker, and the possibilities with working for them are scary but incredible too. My friendships have grown and changed, and i have a core of gorgeous people all over the country who i know accept me for who i am, and who will support and pray for me and i know i'll do the same. I've got incredible prospects coming up and i'm excited and scared all at once, but i trust God's got it all in his hands.
The other side is that the last few months have been at times, so so so lonely, and alot of the time, i feel like i've wasted the potential they held, and i've really struggled. Not only in not having anything to do, but in the way i feel about myself and the disbelief i have. I'm being challenged at the moment about how jesus says we should love others like ourselves, yet that's so difficult when you dislike the person you are so much. And i know some people will judge me for saying such a thing, and will think that i'm in no place to lead others when i dislike myself so much, but right now, i'm living in the promise of Hebrews 10, that by the sacrifice of Jesus, i am made perfect in the eyes of God, and so, although i'm the first to admit, i'm nowhere near sorted... I'm also not where i was, and that if God thinks i can do it and he gives me the tools and opportunites, who am i (or even you?) to say he's wrong?! I'm thinking outloud, but i know God's refining me, and thats not down to my deeds or gifting, but down to his immesurable grace.... and i don't know about you, but thats enough for me.
Tuesday, 9 October 2007
After tea, Erin decided to show me her dancing, which involved her twirling around the room in her "pretty dress" (her favorite activity of the moment is getting changed into different "pretty" clothes) waving her hands in the air and giggling to MaryMary classics and "never smile at a croccodile". Normally i have to join in, but today as i watched her and told her she was very good, she stopped, grinned at me and declared,
"look at me Beth, I'm a princess!"
I grinned back and told her that yes, she was a princess, and prayed that she'd never forget it.
As she carried on dancing, i thought about how self assured this gorgeous litle blonde girl was, about how she never doubted herself, that she giggled with joy and not self conciousness, that she saw no problem whatsoever in flashing her knickers to the world and enjoying every day as it comes. She never worries that she's unloved and in return, loves everyone back, not worrying about guarding herself incase she gets hurt. Erin turned to katie earlier, whe she told her that i was coming for tea and said, "yay, i love beth. beth loves me doesnt she mummy!?" in a way that showed that she didn't doubt me for a second, just wanted to show off how much she was loved. To Erin, nothing is impossible.
God's been quitely speaking to me recently about being child-like, and although i'm not looking at flashing my knickers regularly, i want to learn to be more like Erin. To live in the knowledge of knowing that i am the daughter of THE king, to believe that i am a princess, even when i'm in my scruffy jeans and hoodie. That no matter how scuffed and battered i get, he will always love me and so what have i got to lose?
Wednesday, 3 October 2007
One of the big ways that God pointed me back towards Gurl was that it really excites me (even when i'm bored and can't be bothered!) It's so easy to get bogged down in the marshyness of it all being too scary, but God just reminds me sometimes to get off my bum and do stuff. I've been so lazy recently, not being motivated to do anything, but i'm realising that i've got to be disciplined with it- even when i don't feel like getting out of bed.
Tomorrow i'm teaching small people to dance, high school musical stylee! it's going to be great! (i hope.. things don't get to be rubbish when you're getting paid!!!)
anyway i must sleep, blog properly soon xxx
Saturday, 29 September 2007
Saturday, 15 September 2007
According to www.mypersonality.info, this is me! about 12 months ago, Matthius Littlium (everyones getting harry potter names tonight, its 2.30am!) had us all do these tests, and i'm sure i wasn't a ENFP, so either i've changed, or my memories have! I think, according to this thing, i've got nicer and stopped being so mean to people, which is abit worrying- i hope i haven't gone soft!! We'll see at the next space if i've turned into a pushover event manager!! :( i quite enjoy kickin ass for jesus sometimes!!!!!!!!
But interestingly, musical, interpersonal and intrapersonal are my "mulitple intelligences"- and not hugely surprised that maths isn't, when i can only just do the moderate sudoku's in the telegraph!! I thought i'd be higher verbally than kinestheltically, but then again, when i run out of words, i tend to dance. I'm abit shy with it though, so your unlikely to see my pray through dancing about unless you know me reeeeeeeeeeally well or not at all (and so i don't care what you think!) Strange that, how you let others perception limit you because you don't want to cause a scene. maybe i am going soft....
but for now, i need to try and figure out how to make the pig noise heidi does... she's only 1 and she's better than me already at things!!! so, in the words of heidi earlier tonight... *whispers* goodnight.