And i was all fired up to write something groundbreaking and reflective on the last year or so, until it took me over an hour to remember my log in details, (I didn't, i just reset in the end!) And now i'm not sure i'm feeling so empowered and literate :) SO we'll see what happens...
It's crazy to see the things that have changed since i last posted...
I'm coming to the end of the new job and new church this year, having learnt alot, been incredibly frustrated, cried a few times, made some quality friends, made myself an office, told alot of kids about jesus and realised that church based youth work is great... but isn't God's calling on my life right now.
The "wonderful" man who i couldn't imagine being without... well he walked away a while after i stopped blogging. And I've finally learnt to live with it and move on... feeling wiser and after a very very long time of being heartbroken, finally being able to trust that there's something better in store... that which only time will tell :) But i'm excited about the future and what it'll bring- i look forward to the day of reading this blog and laughing with the guy i'll marry about how much crap i talked about being "in love" before i met him!
And the big main emphasis of the blog was Gurl... something which is probably the subconscious reason i stopped blogging. Weeks after my last post, it all kind of fell apart, leaving me pretty hurt and confused.
I've spent the last year wondering what God's got for me, knowing where i was really wasn't IT, but not knowing where IT was and if i found IT, would they even want me.
Well i think i might have found where God wants me to be for now... a prayer i've had for a long time... for a wandering scouser to get some roots for a little while.
A few weeks ago i officially became the new member of GoldDigger... a girls ministry working with teenage girls, particularly through music and dance as part of its girlband. Looking back over this blog makes me realise how God's been getting me ready for this for so long, to sing, to dance, to minister to girls, to run events, to use the crazy amount of networking i do, to tell girls who are really hurting all about a God who thinks they're great just the way they are, and to empower them to be the girls they want to be, not what the media and boys and their friends tell them they should.
God's pretty awesome.
Amongst the massive changes, its fun to look back at the little things. Blogging about Heidi making pig noises... when now at nearly 3, she sits down and has a proper little conversation with me... and this week introduced me to her two day old sister... Violet. My prayer that these little girls, and the hundreds of teenagers i meet, will grow up to be confident, assured and complete women of God, understanding who he made them to be, and living in all the fullness of that. There's a good amount that we can do but its all worthless without God, and its all meaningless too... So God, i give it all to you again. May there be too many stories of transformation to tell in another years time.
Beths xx
(I may keep on blogging regularly though... so stay with us... and check out www.veryownlife.blogspot.com, its the GoldDigger supporter's blog).
